228 replies to this topic

[metoo]

Agreed with what Seemsless said! You also deserve a long vacation from work! I honestly do not see how I would cope with this and still be able to go to work.

Please send Terry our love Doug!

[Doug_Dread]

Things haven't gone well since the wonderful weekend at home. Somehow, and I have no idea how or when, the trachy hole tore open again. The surgeon blames me for undoing his work over the weekend and Terry went back into theatre on Tuesday for try number 3 to close the damn thing.

She's been instructed to keep her head tucked down until it knits which makes the usual physio impossible, so this is a big step backwards in the quest to get her back on her feet.

Also over the weekend, I did not have the equipment to help her cough up the fluids from her lungs (a generic problem caused by being on a respirator and needing a thingy that passes oxygen through saline water to loosen the phlegm), so her chest was really tight come Monday. I tried normal inhalations using steam and a towel over her head which helped, but it wasn't good enough.

Not to mention we stuffed up the dressings on the leg wounds by having to move her around so much. Our solution was to bandage her legs over the dressings from knee to foot to limit the damage. Fortunately, this worked and the 'wound specialist' was pleased when she redid the dressings on Monday. In fact when she finished redoing them, she bandaged the legs as well. Her legs look scary, like those of a shark bite victim..... a smallish shark of course.

All in all, Terry is in poor spirits. Part of the reason is that her brother has stopped visiting and this hurts her. He's not taking my calls so I don't know whether Terry said something to offend him, which would be dumb as she's pretty fuzzy and doesn't always know what she's saying. I may have offended him because I tackled him over his cruel and hurtful "jokes" at a time when Terry needs all the positive vibes she can get. If he lets a problem with me stop him from supporting his sister, then he drops to zero on my respect meter. In fact, most of her extended family have gotten off the bus, leaving only her immediate family to carry on. Thank goodness for her old work mates filling the gap. It will only get worse next week because I must go away on another business trip.

Just to add insult to injury, the speeding fines have started coming in from the early weeks of her hospitalisation, including one on Christmas day. What can I say, my level of anxiety to rush back to her side daily translated to pressure on my right foot. I wonder if the med aid will accept them as "hospital related expenses".

[AntiThesis]

If her brother has done that... man that would be dickish.

My uncle is going through something similar to Terry at the moment DD (wrt trying to close wounds etc) and he's also getting pretty damned tired of going back into the theater again and again.

I'm sure you can get the speeding fines nulled though... surely explaining the situation/writing a letter of explanation should get it sorted.

[metoo]

Oh not good news eh?

You sound tired Doug. How are you sleeping?

Send the family an email and tell them how you feel! Maybe a little guilt trip would do the trick!!

[Dr_Mullet]

Sorry to hear that Doug.

Keep the faith bro.

[Doug_Dread]

shit Doug!

her brother may be battling with the whole situation. people react differently to difficult situations. maybe just go round to his house and talk to him, doug. he could be hurting really bad. terry needs all her family right now.

all the best sweetheart xx

Naa, that he loves and cares for his sister is beyond question. That he is able to deal with the situation is also beyond question, in fact we supported each other very well, even bonding, during the early ICU days. He does however, have a few hiccups in his character, as do we all.

However, one of these flaws, a cruel, vindictive and 'put-down' sense of humour, has had a devastating effect on Terry's life and her present condition can be traced all the way back to his cruelty when she was just 8 years old. When the doctors woke her up in ICU, the poor girl didn't even know what planet she was on and was in no position to defend herself, he took this opportunity to crack one of his pathetic put-down jokes directed at her. I realised it was time to break my 32+ year silence and stick my nose into their relationship.

I explained the effect he had on her, because out of respect and love for her older brother, she gave him this power over her. I stressed that neither Terry nor I held any grudges or blamed him for anything, but what Terry needed now was positive vibes i.e. if he had nothing positive to say, rather say nothing. That's the last we saw of him.

For Terry's sake, I kept calling him until he finally answered his phone. It's definitely a stupid and childish 'pride game' he's playing. Also for Terry's sake, I swallowed hard and apologised for offending him, but realising he had the upper hand because I would do anything to protect Terry, he pushed, and pushed, and pushed.... one time too many. I let him know what I really thought of his childish games and urged him to get over himself and simply do what he knows is the right thing.

Maybe Terry sees him again, maybe she doesn't. I hope he comes to his senses.

[AntiThesis]

Meh. Fuck him.

It would be nice if Terry could see him as she clearly loves him but yeesh he sounds like a dickwad.

[Doug_Dread]

Application for clemency duly posted to the public prosecutor for the fines.

A better day.

Terry is oozing so much haemoglobin through her wounds that she was ghostly pale, weak and tired, the palms of her hands were as white as the bed sheets. So they gave her a blood transfusion last night and today she's all pink, pretty and awake again.

I decided she needed a treat so I convinced the nurses to give her a real bath in the morning before she went for her dressing change with the wound specialist. I reinforced the request with a phone call this morning 'cause they sounded reluctant. It's hard work, takes 4 nurses and Terry has to be lowered into the bath on a sheet. But, she got her 1st real bath in over a month. Revelled in it!

The dialysis shunt on her chest, unused since her 1st ICU stint, was removed today. This is not a step taken lightly as there are a limited number of points in the body that can be used for a shunt and few can ever be re-used. Sort of like removing a safety net. So, definitely no more dialysis, an excellent sign that her kidney is much improved.

One of the longer term patients went home today and slipped Terry a TV remote. These are scarce as hen's teeth in the hospital, only obtainable from the 'secret sisterhood of patients' society. Strange how a TV remote can be so empowering and comforting to a woman.

The only thing we're waiting for now is the trachy hole to heal and then Terry can leave the hospital and be transferred to the Netcare 911 Rehabilitation Centre, a far more friendly environment, to tackle the final hurdle of rebuilding her body and getting her mobility back. They have the facilities to care for her wounds as well, so that shouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately, it's very far from home, right through the thick of the traffic, so visiting will be tougher, but worth it.

All together now..... GO TRACHY HOLE!!!

[seemsless]

Doug, I had to scroll a few postings down to catch up with the latest.

I can relate to what happened with your BIL, it's a bad thing if one of the blood family tries to put another down, more so in a time that all support is needed. I have a (very short) blocked list of my own, and don't have time for family who act daft. My wife calls hers the 'black list'.

Your postings here always have my attention, and I read them with great interest. At the same time I know if ever, heaven forbid, I was in your situation, I would do exactly the same.

Said it before, and will say so again, I respect your courage and all that you and your wife have to go through here.


Not just idle words from this end, I do keep you and your wife in my prayers from many thousands of miles away.

[metoo]

GO TRACHY HOLE!!!

LOL

Hey Doug.

It's great when the updates are positive! Thanx so much for keeping us updated!

[AntiThesis]

Woop! Nice to hear a positive update DD

@GB: That's not a bad idea actually I'd donate

[Saint]

Gee Doug you and Terry are having it hard. I also think of you even when I wasn't around and truly admire you and Terry for your courage under extreme fire. About your brother in law, sometimes we have to be told things we don't like to hear, sounds like this was what happened with him.

Positive thoughts!!!!

[Doug_Dread]

Whilst on my business trip this week, I received news that the trachy hole had struck back at us. Apart from being no nearer healing, Terry has picked up a hospital-resident, drug-resistant staphylococcus infection in the hole. She was whipped into an isolation ward and all who enter must don gowns, masks and gloves. The doctor reckons “it’s not serious yet, we will have to wait and see”. A Sister seemed quite concerned that she would be breathing the bacteria into her lungs. She’s on arbitrary antibiotics while doctors await the results of ‘sensitivity tests’, to find the right one that can kill the infection, assuming there is one.

Her general condition has deteriorated and she can no longer stand, even with Physio support.

How much more?!......................

I took her, her cellphone so we could stay in contact while I was away, which was great. Looked through her dialled numbers today, I noted she had called her brother. She probably doesn’t understand that he’s abandoned her. She said his son answered and went off to call daddy, returning to inform her neither mommy nor daddy were home. There has been no return call. How heartless is that?!

We’re pushing for a transfer to a rehab centre, before her mobility is lost forever. The damn trachy hole and other wounds can go along for the ride.

Either way, seems the holiday on the beach was just a pipe dream. I’ll wait until the last minute before cancelling, seeing I will have lost the deposit anyway.

[seemsless]

Ditto from this end of the world partner, sorry to hear this news.

Is there anything I could do from here to make things better, or help in any way?

[metoo]

Oh damn Doug! If its not one thing its the other hey? This sounds rather bad.... these bloody drug resistant germs...

Good idea not to cancel the holiday until the last minute Doug, miracles have been known to happen!

Send Terry my love, and a bit extra today for you!!