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Happiness is a warm gun

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#1 Wizzard



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Posted 19 May 2014 - 12:08 PM

From: http://www.thesmokin...n-vagina-576432


Cops: Teen Had Loaded Revolver In Her Vagina.
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APRIL 22--A 19-year-old Tennessee woman had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina when she was brought into jail yesterday afternoon following a collar for driving with a suspended license, police report.
As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search.

The jailer and a female cop then accompanied Archer to a bathroom for further examination, a review that led to the recovery of a “North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in her vagina,” according to a Kingsport Police Department report.

A subsequent check revealed that the five-shot mini-revolver--which is four inches in length--had been “stolen from an auto burglary in 2013.”

It's the comments that really got me chuckling.
  • I thought it was her gun. Turns out it was snatched!
  • Gives new meaning to a gun having a "hair trigger".
  • Happiness is a warm gun?
  • At four inches in length it comes off as half cocked...
  • "For sale AA22LR never used; still in the box."
  • Report reads, "...Introducing contraband into a penal facility." Shouldn't that be 'penile' facility?
  • If it went off, could you call it her 'boom box'?
  • Remember : Every vagina is to be treated as if it is loaded. Always keep it pointed in a safe direction.
  • They say it was a gun, but something smells fishy.
  • You can have my gun when you can pry it from my cold, stinking...
  • Oh my... accident waiting to happen. Could 'shoot the beaver'.
  • I have heard of shooting your mouth off, but this takes on a "hole" new meaning...
  • Complete reversal on the classic, "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
  • I wonder if she had 'gun-areah'?
  • Gives a whole new meaning to "Vaginal Discharge"...
  • Do you suppose she had a 'rectal reloader'?
  • A gun in hand is worth 2 in the bush?
  • Figures... it uses 'rim shot' ammo.

God created man in his image, and man, being a gentleman, returned the favour.

#2 Orange



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Posted 20 May 2014 - 06:13 AM

A story like this is always going to get it's fair share of wannabe stand up comics...
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